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Everything Must Go

by Alive Through Memories

/
1.
2.
I know I’ve failed you not once, not twice, not three times You hide your pain behind your eyes So then you called me out not four not five not six times It hurts so bad to know that I can’t make you smile Cause you're all I’d ever need The only air I'd ever breathe So before you go and leave Is there a future you can see? I know I saved you not four not five not six times Can you still feel me by your side And if you want to call it quits and run away and be done With our hands on the trigger and our mouth on the gun I can’t stop it you deserve to be all you can be But with me, once you were happy Why can’t you see me?
3.
Ruby Red 05:16
How could you think that we’d be friends If I never want to see your face again Calling you is a chore I’ll never get around to Ruby red, the color of your soul It’s cursed with selfishness and being alone Do you still wear my calladagh ring around your finger? Will you point it inwards when you're whole again? I wish you’d lie to my face Am I even on your mind? You’ll never know how long it took For me to get over you The hours a day I tried to think Of ways to stop thinking about you I hope you're able to sleep at night As I lie awake in my room The colors of the wall remind me of you How can I still miss you In my weakest moments I wish I could speak to you Am I even on your mind? Ruby Red, the color of your soul It’s cursed with selfishness and being alone There’s days I wish you left me Like she left your brother Swift, and painless. He didn’t have to suffer You dragged me down to the bottom of your ocean And now I’m gasping for air Am I even on your mind?
4.
Drown 05:52
I want to drown in my depression Suffocate within my toxic thoughts And collapse under the weight of my burdens Medicate in the comfort of alcohol Nobody sees me Have I lost my identity And I’m silently screaming I don’t want you to hear me I see a ghost of my former self Lost in the deep end of her mind In search of happiness that I can’t find I thought that you loved me It’s clear you don’t need me at all I want to give you a false impression Of how I’m dealing with the fallout from her I will tell you that I’m feeling fine I’ll hide the pain deep within my eyes So you can’t see behind my lies I’m doing everything I can to survive There isn’t any part of me that wants to die My brain has an evil way to amplify The darkest parts of my mind My thoughts are so loud when I sleep at night Echoing the insecurities that I hide I feel it quell beneath the silence of you and I Have I lost control of my life I want to drown in my depression I’ll fall in love with my depression I’ll fucking drown in my depression I want to drown in my depression
5.
I miss the love I had with my best friend I never really thought that we would end I wanted to make it through To travel the world with you I miss the love I had with my best friend There are things in our lives we can’t control Like when we fall in love, and growing old When lives fall apart We follow our hearts There’s things in our lives we can’t control Love can make a person feel whole and steal the will to live within our souls And though the pain is real It allows us to heal Love can make a person feel whole Someday, I’ll be okay, without you We’ll both continue to grow into something new It’s hard to say goodbye But we need to live our lives Someday you’ll be okay, without me too Someday you’ll be okay, without me too Someday, we’ll be okay I promise you
6.
Recover 04:41
I’m stuck in the middle Of where my mind and heart wants to be Cause one wants to forget you While the other still wants you I don’t need your explanation About our situation Or your hesitation To give any reciprocation It’s not about what you want from me I just want to feel better Can we be friends, she said I think that we’re better off dead I’ve got a lot That I want to say to you But all the timing is wrong I need some time to recover From all the damage you’ve done I don’t know how I didn’t see All the different ways you didn’t Love me anymore And if I never see you again you should know I was in love with you once I’m stuck in the middle Of where I was and where I want to be I don’t see a way out of here I just know theres got to be Can we be friends, she said to me I think we’re better off dead, don’t you see? Now I know that I can let you go Even though you made me feel so low In the pain, we all begin to grow I just want to feel better I will recover From all the damage That surrounds me Inside of my body It’s hard to imagine My world without you in it I guess now I know that you don’t really love me I’ll move on, and love someone else Who can love me I'll move on and love someone who will love me
7.
I looked you up the other day To try and see how you are doing And how you're moving on without me Because I want you to be happy And I’ve realized that we can live without each other And that feeling scares me Because maybe, our paths in life were meant to be temporary A little part of our journey I hope you can forgive me For my anger, for the idea that I stopped caring about you Or that I wanted the worst for you As time healed all my wounds I understood that I still have it in me To love somebody To still be happy When you cross my mind these days I’ve learned to smile Because I know that you and I are living a full life That’s what you wished for me, when you told me goodbye I hope there’s parts of me that helped you grow And that when I find my new love, you’ll smile cause you’ll know There’s someone out there Who makes me happy When you find somebody else And continue to learn how to love yourself Wherever I am, I’ll be contented Just to know you’ve found your happiness too Because I’m trying to love myself like I loved you When I do And if you want to I’ll be a friend to you
8.
I can see you in a better light A breath of life in my atmosphere It took our death to believe in me To find pieces of symmetry I swear to god I’ll leave this bed Just to breathe the air again I miss your warmth inside my room My loneliness has consumed my mood A consequence of loving you Despising solitude That darkness can’t be home for me All of that guilt inside of me It compromised my integrity What am I supposed to be? I’ll second guess every part of me Finding meaning in life before I die You’ll make your home away from me This I know is true I’ll redefine my happiness so It’s separate from you I don’t know how we’re supposed to be Or if I’ll speak to you We both deserve our happiness I hope it finds you I will not die I will live my life
9.
When I was just a kid You promised me that I could be anything I think you might regret those words Masks and capes that we wear to pretend I never thought one day it would end I need a place to rest, my head Believe me I feel like giving up I feel empty without your love Potential clouds my air My vision is not so clear Maybe I'll crash and burn My confidence is scarce in this town We argue, I fuck up I even said I hate you But through it all somehow, you're there for me When I was just a girl You gave me everything that you had Wonder if I'll ever give it back Believe me I feel like giving up I feel empty without your love I need you, you're all I know If you leave me I can't do this alone A future that isn't here A past that drags me down Maybe I'll find a way Or maybe I'll crash and burn Wondering how this ends I'm scared I'll fail you again We argue, I fuck up I've even said I hate you But through it all somehow you're there for me I think back from time to time In your arms I held them tight I hope that I can make you proud Please don't leave me , cause I'm so lost Please don't leave me, cause I'm so scared

credits

released March 20, 2020

Produced by: Alex McGillivray & Ryan Jordan
Engineered, Mixed, & Mastered by: Will Holland at Chillhouse Studios

Writing Credits:
Alex McGillivray - Tracks 1-9
Ryan Jordan - Tracks 1, 3-9
Brendan Machowski - Tracks 1-4
Christian Spach - Track 1

Lyrics by: Alex McGillivray
Additional Lyrics by: Ryan Jordan
Additional Lyrics on "The End of Us" by: Brendan Machowski
Additional Lyrics on "Holiday (Re-Imagined) by: Julia Taliesin

Arrangements by: Alex McGillivray & Ryan Jordan

Performing Credits:
Alex McGillivray - Vocals & Drums
Ryan Jordan - Piano, Keyboard, Synths Tracks 1-9, Guitar Tracks 5-9
Brendan Machowski - Guitar Tracks 1-4
Christian Spach - Bass Guitar

Additional Vocals on "Holiday (Re-Imagined) by: Lisa Vassallo
Additional Vocals on "Ruby Red" by: Ryan Jordan, Brendan Machowski, & Matthew Silverstein

Album Art by: Ryan Jordan

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