Get all 11 Alive Through Memories releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Heart Mind Body & Soul, Soul, New Again, Songs To Survive Isolation, Everything Must Go, My Best Friend, The Lonely Fox In The Woods, When I Die, I Hope I Leave Something Beautiful, and 3 more.
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The End of Us
03:11
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I know I’ve failed you not once, not twice, not three times
You hide your pain behind your eyes
So then you called me out not four not five not six times
It hurts so bad to know that I can’t make you smile
Cause you're all I’d ever need
The only air I'd ever breathe
So before you go and leave
Is there a future you can see?
I know I saved you not four not five not six times
Can you still feel me by your side
And if you want to call it quits and run away and be done
With our hands on the trigger and our mouth on the gun
I can’t stop it you deserve to be all you can be
But with me, once you were happy
Why can’t you see me?
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3. |
Ruby Red
05:16
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How could you think that we’d be friends
If I never want to see your face again
Calling you is a chore I’ll never get around to
Ruby red, the color of your soul
It’s cursed with selfishness and being alone
Do you still wear my calladagh ring around your finger?
Will you point it inwards when you're whole again?
I wish you’d lie to my face
Am I even on your mind?
You’ll never know how long it took
For me to get over you
The hours a day I tried to think
Of ways to stop thinking about you
I hope you're able to sleep at night
As I lie awake in my room
The colors of the wall remind me of you
How can I still miss you
In my weakest moments I wish I could speak to you
Am I even on your mind?
Ruby Red, the color of your soul
It’s cursed with selfishness and being alone
There’s days I wish you left me
Like she left your brother
Swift, and painless. He didn’t have to suffer
You dragged me down to the bottom of your ocean
And now I’m gasping for air
Am I even on your mind?
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4. |
Drown
05:52
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I want to drown in my depression
Suffocate within my toxic thoughts
And collapse under the weight of my burdens
Medicate in the comfort of alcohol
Nobody sees me
Have I lost my identity
And I’m silently screaming
I don’t want you to hear me
I see a ghost of my former self
Lost in the deep end of her mind
In search of happiness that I can’t find
I thought that you loved me
It’s clear you don’t need me at all
I want to give you a false impression
Of how I’m dealing with the fallout from her
I will tell you that I’m feeling fine
I’ll hide the pain deep within my eyes
So you can’t see behind my lies
I’m doing everything I can to survive
There isn’t any part of me that wants to die
My brain has an evil way to amplify
The darkest parts of my mind
My thoughts are so loud when I sleep at night
Echoing the insecurities that I hide
I feel it quell beneath the silence of you and I
Have I lost control of my life
I want to drown in my depression
I’ll fall in love with my depression
I’ll fucking drown in my depression
I want to drown in my depression
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5. |
My Best Friend
02:48
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I miss the love I had with my best friend
I never really thought that we would end
I wanted to make it through
To travel the world with you
I miss the love I had with my best friend
There are things in our lives we can’t control
Like when we fall in love, and growing old
When lives fall apart
We follow our hearts
There’s things in our lives we can’t control
Love can make a person feel whole
and steal the will to live within our souls
And though the pain is real
It allows us to heal
Love can make a person feel whole
Someday, I’ll be okay, without you
We’ll both continue to grow into something new
It’s hard to say goodbye
But we need to live our lives
Someday you’ll be okay, without me too
Someday you’ll be okay, without me too
Someday, we’ll be okay I promise you
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6. |
Recover
04:41
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I’m stuck in the middle
Of where my mind and heart wants to be
Cause one wants to forget you
While the other still wants you
I don’t need your explanation
About our situation
Or your hesitation
To give any reciprocation
It’s not about what you want from me
I just want to feel better
Can we be friends, she said
I think that we’re better off dead
I’ve got a lot
That I want to say to you
But all the timing is wrong
I need some time to recover
From all the damage you’ve done
I don’t know how I didn’t see
All the different ways you didn’t
Love me anymore
And if I never see you again you should know
I was in love with you once
I’m stuck in the middle
Of where I was and where I want to be
I don’t see a way out of here
I just know theres got to be
Can we be friends, she said to me
I think we’re better off dead, don’t you see?
Now I know that I can let you go
Even though you made me feel so low
In the pain, we all begin to grow
I just want to feel better
I will recover
From all the damage
That surrounds me
Inside of my body
It’s hard to imagine
My world without you in it
I guess now I know that you don’t really love me
I’ll move on, and love someone else
Who can love me
I'll move on and love someone who will love me
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7. |
Happiness Is...
05:19
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I looked you up the other day
To try and see how you are doing
And how you're moving on without me
Because I want you to be happy
And I’ve realized
that we can live without each other
And that feeling scares me
Because maybe, our paths in life were meant to be temporary
A little part of our journey
I hope you can forgive me
For my anger, for the idea that I stopped caring about you
Or that I wanted the worst for you
As time healed all my wounds
I understood that I still have it in me
To love somebody
To still be happy
When you cross my mind these days
I’ve learned to smile
Because I know that you and I are living a full life
That’s what you wished for me, when you told me goodbye
I hope there’s parts of me that helped you grow
And that when I find my new love, you’ll smile cause you’ll know
There’s someone out there
Who makes me happy
When you find somebody else
And continue to learn how to love yourself
Wherever I am, I’ll be contented
Just to know you’ve found your happiness too
Because I’m trying to love myself like I loved you
When I do
And if you want to
I’ll be a friend to you
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I can see you in a better light
A breath of life in my atmosphere
It took our death to believe in me
To find pieces of symmetry
I swear to god I’ll leave this bed
Just to breathe the air again
I miss your warmth inside my room
My loneliness has consumed my mood
A consequence of loving you
Despising solitude
That darkness can’t be home for me
All of that guilt inside of me
It compromised my integrity
What am I supposed to be?
I’ll second guess every part of me
Finding meaning in life before I die
You’ll make your home away from me
This I know is true
I’ll redefine my happiness so
It’s separate from you
I don’t know how we’re supposed to be
Or if I’ll speak to you
We both deserve our happiness
I hope it finds you
I will not die
I will live my life
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When I was just a kid
You promised me that I could be anything
I think you might regret those words
Masks and capes that we wear to pretend
I never thought one day it would end
I need a place to rest, my head
Believe me I feel like giving up
I feel empty without your love
Potential clouds my air
My vision is not so clear
Maybe I'll crash and burn
My confidence is scarce in this town
We argue, I fuck up
I even said I hate you
But through it all somehow, you're there for me
When I was just a girl
You gave me everything that you had
Wonder if I'll ever give it back
Believe me I feel like giving up
I feel empty without your love
I need you, you're all I know
If you leave me I can't do this alone
A future that isn't here
A past that drags me down
Maybe I'll find a way
Or maybe I'll crash and burn
Wondering how this ends
I'm scared I'll fail you again
We argue, I fuck up
I've even said I hate you
But through it all somehow you're there for me
I think back from time to time
In your arms I held them tight
I hope that I can make you proud
Please don't leave me , cause I'm so lost
Please don't leave me, cause I'm so scared
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